Saturday, August 23, 2008

Where do I go from here?

Another month, another rejection. This one is harder to take. This spot seemed to be a perfect fit, the interview went well and I came away thinking there's really nothing I could have done that I did not. So I guess I can take away that this position was not in God's plan. But past that.....

I feel I am aimlessly wandering through life right now. I view my life as being in a dark field looking for something; however I don't really have a good description of what it is or what it looks like, so it's almost as if I'm chasing the wind.

Now I do not desire to just whine or complain about life, to sit here and appear to be seeking sympathy. But I do desire to speak honestly about what is happening in my life and the past few months frankly have not been very positive both in the job search and more importantly in many ways outside of it. I cannot find my identity. Now don’t misinterpret that. I understand my core identity as a child of God, believing that I was made for a purpose. No, this search is for how and where I fit into the overall purpose with my specific personality and life. Maybe this is common for young people but it is taking its toll on me.

I am honestly not sure what I was attempting to progress toward in my college education the past few years but this lack of direction, passion, and discernable skill is bad and has begun to keep me up at night. This may just be the worst period of my life to date.

2 comments:

suzy marie hachey. said...

i guess it sounds super cliche and insincere via a blog comment, but i am praying for you. maryville misses you all and i think these times of trial will hold great breadth and meaning in the future. retrospect is always better, it seems, but the best place to be is the present. regardless of what we think.

you already know it, i'm sure, but 1 Peter 6-8 is some good stuff.

suz

Unknown said...

Shoot me your resume and I'll recommend you to cerner if you want.

Your call.